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To Whine or Not to Whine June 8, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, Parenting Teens, Toddlers.
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Got a child who whines?   Take a deep breath and try one of the following:

Rule out any medical causes for the whining-like pain or illness.

Try to figure out what is behind your child’s high pitched pleas.

Remember that you child is asking for attention and not just trying to annoy you. Children whine to get a parent’s attention so think about ways you can give them this attention before the whining starts.

Say something like, “I don’t like when you whine.  If you want a glass of milk then ask me like this.”  Model the way you want your child to ask for something.  Also praise a child when they request something the right way telling them you liked the way they asked for a story or apple.

Ask yourself if you have been busier than usual or has your child’s routine changed.  Reconnect with your child and give them extra love and attention.

All children whine at one time or another.  Actually most adults do too.  It’s a learned behavior.  A smaller child might throw a tantrum but a older child who has more self control is likely to whine.  Respond to that first bid for attention if you can and don’t wait until the child is really in distress.  Most important is not giving into the whining request even if it’s a reasonable request…because that reinforces to the child that whining gets them their way. 

 

Temper Tantrums April 22, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Toddlers.
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We’ve all seen them in grocery stores.  We’ve all heard them in restaurants.  We’ve all been mortified and embarrassed by our sweet little pumpkins throwing themselves on the floor and making us look like we have no parenting skills whatsoever.

Temper tantrums are a child’s way of expressing anger at an age when they haven’t learned or adopted other coping methods.  Here’s a few easy suggestions about now to manage your child’s temper tantrums without having a meltdown of your own.
 
*If the tantrum appears to be a way to get attention or his way, try to ignore it.   Never give in to a child’s    
 demands because the child will use this tactic again and again.
 
*If the tantrum is triggered by frustration (and 2-3 year olds have a lot of it), offer encouragement and
 support and help with what’s causing the frustration or take it away.
 
Some of these suggestions sound a bit scary and harsh, but the important thing is not to let your child get into a habit of throwing a tantrum to get his way.  Unlearning this behavior is a lot harder than nipping it in the bud in the beginning. If you are in public when a tantrum occurs-just remember that almost all of us have been in your shoes and the looks you get from most people are ones of compassion. Temper tantrums are a normal phase of growing up and some children just  have more of them than others.