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To Whine or Not to Whine June 8, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, Parenting Teens, Toddlers.
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Got a child who whines?   Take a deep breath and try one of the following:

Rule out any medical causes for the whining-like pain or illness.

Try to figure out what is behind your child’s high pitched pleas.

Remember that you child is asking for attention and not just trying to annoy you. Children whine to get a parent’s attention so think about ways you can give them this attention before the whining starts.

Say something like, “I don’t like when you whine.  If you want a glass of milk then ask me like this.”  Model the way you want your child to ask for something.  Also praise a child when they request something the right way telling them you liked the way they asked for a story or apple.

Ask yourself if you have been busier than usual or has your child’s routine changed.  Reconnect with your child and give them extra love and attention.

All children whine at one time or another.  Actually most adults do too.  It’s a learned behavior.  A smaller child might throw a tantrum but a older child who has more self control is likely to whine.  Respond to that first bid for attention if you can and don’t wait until the child is really in distress.  Most important is not giving into the whining request even if it’s a reasonable request…because that reinforces to the child that whining gets them their way. 

 

Separation Anxiety, How to Make It Easier For Baby AND You! May 12, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in New Moms, Toddlers.
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How a baby reacts to being separated from a parent varies dramatically from child to child. Some may pitch a real fit and some will take it all in stride. And some might do both at various times. Regardless of your child’s temperament or current mood, it’s a good idea to establish a short, upbeat guilt free good-bye routine and stick to it.

Here’s how:

*Always say good bye-it might be tempting to sneak out while the child is otherwise distracted but don’t! This will only upset your child and undermine his sense of security. Remember that security is everything to a small person. Always hug and kiss your baby before you leave and tell them you’ll be back soon. Even if a child is too young to comprehend these words, he’ll understand the tone and the mood-so be positive and cheerful.
*Keep the good-bye short and sweet-lengthy farewell’s or trips back into the house only make things harder on your baby, yourself and the caregiver.
*Have a happy reunion-greet him with enthusiasm and affection. Never say “I’m so sorry I had to leave you.” This will only lead your child to think that temporary separation is a bad thing.
Leaving your baby in the care of others and establishing a good-bye routine teaches valuable lessons. A baby learns to accept other trusted adults and he learns that you will always return. Later if you put your child in daycare this will be particularly helpful.