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Nurturing and Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem July 9, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, Parenting Teens, self-esteem.
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We all know these things but sometimes it just helps to reread them or think about them in a little different matter.  Raising kids takes a lot of rethinking and analyzing what you are doing-both good and bad.  Providing for a child’s physical needs (food, shelter, clothing) is fairly straightforward but trying to provide for their emotional needs can be lots trickier.  Here’s a few general guidelines for nurturing your child so that they grow into a happy emotionally healthy adult.

Listen to your child-provide comfort and assurance and encourage questions.  Be willing to talk about any subject.
 
Look at the example you are setting-could your own problem-solving and coping skills use some work?
 
Respect your child’s feelings-encourage your child to express his or her feelings.  Let them know that everyone experiences pain, anger, anxiety, sadness and fear. Try to figure out where the source of the feelings are coming from.
 
Promote mutual respect and trust-even if you are angry keep your voice level low.  Try to keep communication channels open.
 
Foster your child’s talents and accept their limitations.  Set goals on your child’s abilities and interests and not on someone else’s expectations.  It’s hard but don’t compare your child to other children or siblings.  
 
Spend time with your child regularly.
 
Help your child become independent and deal with life’s ups and downs.  Show confidence in your child’s ability to handle problems and tack new experiences. 
 
Be aware of the different stages of development so you don’t expect too much or too little from your child.
 
Always discipline constructively, fairly and consistently.  Use discipline as a form of teaching and not physical punishment.  Look for positive behaviors and show approval for those.  We all learn best by our mistakes.  Set limits before problems arise.
 
Love unconditionally.  Teach high moral standards and the value of cooperation, patience and apologies.  Teach forgiveness and consideration of others.
 
Do not expect to be perfect; parenting is a difficult job.
 

To Whine or Not to Whine June 8, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, Parenting Teens, Toddlers.
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Got a child who whines?   Take a deep breath and try one of the following:

Rule out any medical causes for the whining-like pain or illness.

Try to figure out what is behind your child’s high pitched pleas.

Remember that you child is asking for attention and not just trying to annoy you. Children whine to get a parent’s attention so think about ways you can give them this attention before the whining starts.

Say something like, “I don’t like when you whine.  If you want a glass of milk then ask me like this.”  Model the way you want your child to ask for something.  Also praise a child when they request something the right way telling them you liked the way they asked for a story or apple.

Ask yourself if you have been busier than usual or has your child’s routine changed.  Reconnect with your child and give them extra love and attention.

All children whine at one time or another.  Actually most adults do too.  It’s a learned behavior.  A smaller child might throw a tantrum but a older child who has more self control is likely to whine.  Respond to that first bid for attention if you can and don’t wait until the child is really in distress.  Most important is not giving into the whining request even if it’s a reasonable request…because that reinforces to the child that whining gets them their way. 

 

Home Sweet Home Page May 28, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Parenting Teens, education, safety, technology.
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As you first log on to the Internet the first page you see is your home page.  With Internet Explorer, you can set a number of home pages that your children can navigate and enjoy-you just might enjoy them too.  Many adults set their home page to read the latest news, play games and check the weather. Kids can do this too.  They can start surfing at a site they like right away and parents can relax and know it’s okay.
*ScholasticNews Online, is a great site where you can read the dayily news, catch up on a campaign and election updates or participate in a poll.  They let your child give their opinion too regarding current topics.  The Kids Press is a news column written for kids by kids.  You can test your IQ with games and quizzes and read the latest sports, television and music news.  You can have news downloaded to your desktop five days a week and all of it is timely but geared to kids.
*Science News for Kids, is the place to go to read about all the latest science news.  From there you can link to the game zone and puzzle zone.  Read and have fun with animals, chemistry, the environment, space, math, technology and the weather.  If your child is crazy for anything science than this a particularly good one. features the latest news, a poll zone, kid scoop, games and a homework helper.
*Kids Yahoo, is more commercial but it has a lot of bells and whistles that kids like.  They can heck out the latest music and games, send e-cards, read your horoscope and it’s a good place to access reference materials for reports and homework.
*At PBS Kids News Flash Five,  animated characters report on art, technology, science, sports and national and world news.  You can even write and submit your own story.

One nice thing about these homepages for your kids-you know they are safe and they won’t be seeing anything you’d rather them not see or read.

Summer Means Swim Time for Kids May 27, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, Parenting Teens, Toddlers, education, safety, toys.
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Nothing says summer like water!!!  Taking a dip in the pool, going to the splash park, trips to the beach, floating the river, boating or just playing in the a wading pool.  Water however poses one of the season’s biggest safety hazards.  Sorry to say, the National Safety Council says that children under four have the highest death rate due to drowning and 64% of theses deaths happen in the summer months.
 
Constant supervision is the key to safety.  Don’t let your kids near water unless you have the time to watch them, no matter what your child’s skill level is and no matter how deep the water is.  When it comes to protecting children from drowning, nothing works better than good old fashioned vigilance.  If you sunning, reading a book or talking to another parent, then you are not actively supervising.  Do not totally relax even if there is a life guard on duty.  Even a few seconds of inattention can lead to disaster for children around water. 
 
Here’s a few safety tips:
 
1.  Enroll children in a water safety course early but keep in mind 
     that the American Academy of Pediatrics says most kids aren’t
     ready for swimming lessons until after their
     fourth birthday.
 
2.  Do not allow children who cannot swim to use inflatable toys 
     such as water wings or mattresses unless you are in the water
     with them.  When boating everyone should use approved life
     jackets ALL the time.
 
3.  If you have your own pool you need to create and enforce
     safety rules.
 
4.  Take a CPR course; it could save your child’s life!
 
5.  Never leave kids alone near water and keep a watchful eye on
     them at all times even if you are at a public pool with a life
     guard on duty.  Encourage children to watch out for
     each other too.
 
6.  Be respectful of the ocean and beach because conditions can
     change rapidly and become dangerous.
 
Also realize that children are fascinated with water and can get a little too excited.  Don’t rely on their judgement as to their swimming ability or if they can handle deeper water.  Also watch for rough play that is getting out of hand in the pool.
 
 

Too Much Video Game Time? May 23, 2008

Posted by artinshamrocks in Parenting Teens, education, technology.
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If your child is spending more than two hours a day with video games, videos/DVD’s, computer games or television it is probably too much. With summer coming, you’ll want to put a plan in place to set a few limits.  Here are some suggestions:

*Bring hand held video games to social events only on special occasions. If the gameboy or DS Lite is accompanying every trip to a friend’s house or on each errand you run, your child might be racking up quite a few hours of play and missing opportunities to mingle socially.
 
*Allow your child to play for a predetermined amount of time and designate certain days as “game” free.  Consider doing the same thing with the computer and television.  This does not have to be painful or drastic…every family is different and any limit you set will help.
 
*When friends come to visit limit the group’s game time and suggest they do something more active after a period of time.
 
*Most important is communicating to your child why you are setting limits and why you are reducing their screen time.  Be flexible and go slowly, especially if you’ve never had limits before.  You need to do what feels right for your home and your child.
 
*There are many good things about all this technology and this is the world your child will live in so give all of this careful thought.  Don’t use video games or television as a babysitter all the time but don’t let this become a huge issue or tug of war in your family.  A happy medium can be reached with some thoughtful parenting.