The Average Toddler Hears “NO” 400 Times A Day! May 19, 2008
Posted by artinshamrocks in Discipline, New Moms, Toddlers.Tags: Discipline, Toddlers
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This is an astonishing fact and not only tiresome for you but it can also be harmful to your child. Children who hear “no” too much have higher frustration levels, anxiety and poorer language skills. Saying “no” too much becomes ineffective and many kids simply start to tune you completely out or throw tantrums the minute the dreaded syllable is heard. Not responding to “no” is also dangerous from a safety perspective.
So what is a parent to do? Parents need to break out of the yes/no tug-of-war by coming up with new ways to set limits. Here are a couple suggestions:
*Show and Tell-often children are not doing things on purpose and need to be shown gently how to do something else more appropriate. For instance a young child who might be hitting the cat or poking the baby sister should be told “gentle” while you guide her hand in a stroking motion or show her how to carefully kiss the baby. Some children can’t stop what they are doing because they don’t know what to do instead.
*Give the child a choice-instead of saying the no word offer him an option. For kids between 1 and 3 years of age this encourages them to develop a sense of independence and competence. Instead of saying, “No bubble blowing in the house,” try saying “You can blow bubbles in the bathroom tub or on the patio-your choice. Instead of saying, “No throwing the ball in the living room,” try “you can roll the ball in the house or throw it in the backyard”-your choice.
*Say YES sort of-try rephrasing the “no” as a “yes”. Say “yes, you can have ice cream after dinner. Let’s go find a cracker for now.”
*Explain yourself simply-consider explaining to your child why her behavior is so bothersome to you or other people. Show your child that what she does affects people around her. It may take awhile for her to develop empathy and concern for others but reminding her of someone else’s perspective will help her along later.
*Say NO like you mean it – Little ones learn the meaning of the word “no” largely from the tone of your voice. Say it less often but with a firm tone. You can also develop a look or penetrating glare or a simple finger point that immediately signals the child that it’s time to stop.
Always help your child find other fun activities and redirect their attention. Stay connected with your child and try to relax and not get into a power struggle. They are only little once and they have so much to learn.
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